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Monday, 19 October 2009 

Can a picture be Cursed ?....Part 2

Having previously established that one of my photographs was clearly evil and did not want to leave the house. I had decided to replace it for my latest exhibition.

The strange thing is that it turned out that the new portrait image was exactly the right orientation for the display. If I had gone with the original landscape image the hanging would have looked completely wrong.

Even weirder, no sooner had I hung the new picture up than someone asked to buy it!

Clearly, it wasn't a cursed picture it was just trying to stop me doing the wrong thing.

Spooky!!!

Tree and Temple
(not an evil picture after all, just a very helpful one)

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Wednesday, 14 October 2009 

Can a picture be cursed?

My latest exhibition opens on Thursday so, of course, there has been lots to do with pictures to frame and labels to write, etc, etc.

I have explained how I mount and frame pictures before, it;s not a particularly complicated process and each part just takes a few minutes. I printed a batch of photos at 12"x18" then left them for a few days to let those gasses out.

Framing and mounting progressed as normal: clean the glass, mount the picture, drop the picture into the frame, check it, spot some dust on the glass, clean the glass, put the picture back in the frame,check it, spot some dust on the glass, clean the glass, put the picture back in the frame,check it, spot some dust on the glass, clean the glass, put the picture back in the frame, finally decide enough is enough seal up the back of the frame.

This was how it went for all but one picture, this shot just wouldn't line up with the mount correctly. It took about 20minutes to do what should have taken a few seconds, I then put it in the frame, did the traditional glass cleaners dance and sealed up the back. I then realised I hadn't signed & numbered it. So out it came, a quick signature, drop it back into the frame, turn it over to check for dust and then turn it over only to discover the glass had broken!

By this time I am jolly miffed with this picture and I decide to leave it & come back to it later.

A week passes and I have another go at framing it. I grab a spare frame, drop the picture into it turn it over and the F*!%**ing glass has broken! I never break the glass on my frames and now 2 have gone on the same picture. A frantic phone call and trip to the glazers ensue and then I have 2 new pieces of glass.

By this time I have decide the phot is cursed and the only person who is likely to buy it is Linda Blair or Damien from the Omen. So I print a different picture, mount it & frame it with no problem at all!

Below is the picture I ended up framing - I won't show you the accursed one as it may bring down my website.

A Fern in the Dark
(click to view large)

Oh and I decided to shred the other picture for public safety reasons.

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Monday, 10 August 2009 

The Perils of Googling yourself

So I was a bit bored and I thought I would google myself. So there I am second in the results. I'm just behind the Chris Shepherd who did all the animations for the series Big Train.

So I'm happy to be the second most famous "Chris Shepherd! on the web. But then I look down the page to image results. Apparently the number one image result for Chris Shepherd is this:



So now I'm a horses arse....marvellous!

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Wednesday, 29 April 2009 

Killer Cows

After yesterdays post I was asked why I had spoilt such a nice sunset by sticking that big ugly blob in front of it. Well there is a reason for that..

Temple field has been a bit of a muse of mine for the last few months. I am convinced that there should be a really good picture there but so far the best I have managed is this:

Tree and Temple
(Click to view large)

So on Sunday I decided to head back there and get some shots, but I was faced with the killer cows of Temple Field. I know what your thinking: "You great big jessie, their only cows". Well my last encounter with them four years ago left me a little bit wary of these beasties, here is the story:




As I entered the field I noticed a sign saying Bull in Field. Luckily, I had left my assistant, Boysie the tripod carrying cocker spaniel, at home so I thought I should be alright if I kept my distance from the cows or bull.

There was no sign of the cows in the field anyway, so I headed down the hill and up the other side to the small round temple at the top. As I got to the top and placed my tripod in front of the temple, suddenly cows appeared over the hill round both sides of the temple.

I figured I wouldn't want to take pictures in amongst the cows so I started to move away down the hill. Almost immediately I heard a movement behind me. I turned round quickly and 2 of the cows were now a lot closer than they were before. I spoke to them loudly and clearly, telling them not to be so silly (like most landscape photographers I speak fluent Friesian with a slight Guernsey accent - OK I just babbled incoherently but you get my drift). I then turned and started to walk away.


Temple Dawn
(Click to view large)

I had taken no more than a few steps when I heard a rumble behind me and there was this cow charging towards me head down. Faced with the prospect of being flattened by 2 ton of sirloin, I opted for the only thing I could think of, which was my best stern school teacher voice. I stood still, raised a hand and shouted, "Just stop that now" to my surprise it worked! The only problem was that I was now staring this cow/bull in the eyes and it was little more than 5 foot away from me. I think it was probably a cow rather than a bull but I wasn't going to break eye contact to check.

So there I was now in a staring competition with this cow/bull thing. I didn't dare look away or show any signs of fear as I figured that as soon as I looked away I would have been steam rolled by Aberdeen Angus. Eventually after a few hours of staring (well it seemed like hours, I doubt if it was more than a couple of minutes in real time), a cow behind mooed and the bull/cow dropped its head and backed away. I figure that the moo was the cow equivalent of "leave him Terry he's not worth it".

I carefully made my off the hill and out of the field - keeping a constant watch over my shoulder for the wayward cow and his head-but of death.



So now do you blame me for not wanting to join the cows in Temple Field?

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Monday, 27 April 2009 

When Swans Attack!!

So there I was at Roydon Mill on Sunday evening taking a few shots checking out the potential of the place as location. I had setup my tripod and pretty much had the place to myself, apart from the local swan who came over to see what I was doing. Having decide I wasn't of much interest the swan moved to the other side of the river & left me to my own devices.

A short while later three lads came down the river in an open canoe, enjoying a journey in the evening sunshine. I immediately noticed that the swan had adopted a pose that looked to the untrained eye as if it was saying "Right I'm aving you". It's wings came up and it headed at full pelt towards the canoe.

The Attack Begins

The chaps in the canoe first tried paddling faster to get away, but there was no way this swan was going to let them escape. They tried to scare it by splashing the paddles but it just kept coming. The river goes under a bridge at this point and out of my view, so I grabbed my camera & tripod and legged it up to where I could see down the river. Just as I reached that point the swan managed to turn over the Canoe! Three chaps,bags, bottles, cans and paddles were dumped into the canal.

I went down to the side and helped them haul themselves and their boat out of the water. A chap from a narrow boat came out to offer a hand and said "That bloody swan had a couple in a rowing boat over last week".

So now the lads decide that they needed to collect up all the rubbish that had come out of their boat (very public spirited) and retrieve one of their paddles. But the swan was smart and circled the floating paddle waiting for the next encounter.


The Swan Circles The Paddle

A narrow boater threw some food for the swan and it headed down the river, so an intrepid two set sail to retrieve their gear.

The Intrepid Two

But the swan wasn't to be so easily beaten, it came hurtling back towards them with its wings up in a very aggressive posture, determined to deal with these interlopers. the canoeists soon adopted a technique of "paddle a bit throw something at the swan, grab something out of the water..repeat".

Don't laugh now there is a swan coming

In the middle of all this someone stopped on the bridge in a car, wound down their windows and shouted "Oi don't throw stuff at that swan". People tried to explain what was going on but they would have none of it. They drove off with a shout of "I'm going in to the office and calling the police". Just as the narrow boater standing next to me said "Fecking Idiots".

Incoming Swan

Having collected their stuff the canoeists headed off with the swan chasing, finally a well aimed bottle on the beak caused the swan to give up the chase!

Battle Over

I think I might visit Roydon Mill again.

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Sunday, 21 December 2008 

Some Days you just have to give up

Well the plan for this morning was quite simple, head down to my nearest bit of coast (Leigh-on-Sea) and take a few photos as the sun comes up. Sometimes the best laid plans, just don't work out.

It all started well, as the night before I dropped my camera into the camera bag I hadn't bothered to unpack from my last coast trip. As I had only taken the camera out of the bag - if I put it back in I should have everything I need. Wellies & tripod were left by the door ready for an early start...so what could possibly go wrong.

Well, first of all the central heating went completely mad, so instead of a good nights sleep I ended up getting about an hours hot & fitful sleep. Undeterred I was up at six and chucked all my gear in the car and headed for the coast.

On arrival at Leigh, I headed down to Two Tree Island and got the gear out of the car. As I started to set up I realised I didn't have a tripod quick release plate anywhere in the bag. I turned the bag upside down but it was nowhere to be seen. I now have no way of mounting the camera on the tripod. After a bit of tinkering I worked out a way to use my super stretch camera strap to lash the camera to the tripod.

So undeterred I set my camera up & I start to wait for the sun to come up. Immediately the sky became completely obscured by thick cloud. I Decided I could still work with the strong wind which would cause some nice motion in the sky.


Leigh-on-Sea (on a better day)
(Click to view large)


No sooner had I set up my shot than the carpark behind me filled with cars. As hundreds of fishermen descend on the place for a fishing competition. My carefully composed scene of peace and tranquillity was suddenly filled with fisherman moving boats about and wading through the mud. Time to try another spot I think!

I headed back to try the view from the bridge over Leigh creek. I had to prepare my shot (with the camera still precariously balanced on the tripod), whilst avoiding being run over by the stream of fisherman's cars crossing the bridge. I position the camera carefully, when there was a sudden "ping" and the Lee filter holder and filters dropped off the front of my camera into the creek below. Luckily the tide was on its way out so the filters embedded themselves deep in the mud. I struggled down the bank and waded into the mud to retrieve the filters.

I finally decided to give up and head home in a huff - unfortunately a huff wasn't available so I used the car instead*. Arriving home I searched the house top to bottom and couldn't find the missing Tripod QR plate. After searching for 3 hours, I finally found it...attached to a telephoto lens - in my camera bag.

What a day!


*Sightings of this joke date back to 1933

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Thursday, 12 June 2008 

Nikon D90 Specifications Revealed

I see the Nikon D90 Specifications have been leaked. I can't wait to try one, that in-camera editing function may make me switch from Canon.

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Friday, 25 January 2008 

The power of the blog

It's quite a surprise to me the huge influence this little blog can have.

First I wax lyrically about how much I like my lensbaby and what happens? Mr Lensbaby himself, Sam Perdue, comments on my blog!

Then I create a check-list for photographers and what happens? Microsoft decide it's such a good idea they want to copy it.

But now, no sooner have I waxed lyrically about how wonderful craghopper furry trousers are but they need a leg pocket, when what happens? Through the door comes a parcel containing some of the very same trouser but now with the requested pocket!

Hmmm, I think I best only use these powers for good.

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Tuesday, 22 January 2008 

You Suck at Photoshop

Danny Boyle has produced 3 rather fun video tutorials for Photoshop. Well worth a view:


You never know, you might even learn something :)

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Thursday, 25 October 2007 

Exhausted

Hampshire police thought it would be a good idea to advertise on the rear of a bus. Their planning did not take into account the position of the exhaust pipe.....


Click to view Large
Photographer unknown

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Tuesday, 25 September 2007 

Stile Style

We had a great a week in the Yorkshire Dales. Every day we did a walk around a different part of the Dales. It was great to be out in such beautiful country just us, our two dogs, the views and the weather...lovely

The only downside on our walks was the local farmers obsession with making complicated stiles. The British Standard Stile was nowhere to be seen and were replaced with simple slots in the dry stone walls. Having decide that these were far too functional and hardly made things complicated at all, the farmers seemed to be in competition to add extra complications: A gate, 2 gates, steps, missing steps, extra powerful springs on the gates. The variety was amazing.

At one point we hit 6 different stiles in a little under three hundred yards. This really slowed down our walks because the stiles are designed to keep out sheep but let people through. Our two cocker spaniels are pretty much sheep sized so lifting them through the gaps added a "full body workout" to a simple walk...still it helps keep you fit I suppose.

Rock & Rust
(Click to view large)

In Arkengarthdale we came across the ultimate of the breed; a tall narrow stile that was guarded by a sheet of corrugated iron. Travelling through the wall involved throwing 2 walking poles, 2 rucksacks & 2 dogs over it first! Whilst waiting my chance to squeeze through I became fascinated with the colours in the rusty corrugated iron and its juxtaposition against the rock.

When you are in the right mood inspiration can strike anywhere.

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Monday, 20 August 2007 

Canon 40D Review

Over the last few months I have been testing a preview of the new Canon 40D under one of their non disclosure agreements....




... So I can't tell you anything about it.

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Monday, 6 August 2007 

Duck that for a laugh....

Sometimes life imitates art. There I was easing myself into the week by reading through the weekends posts on The Online Photographer and what do you know but this cartoon appears from WhatTheDuck.net. (Click to view large)


So its not just me then!

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New Cameras on their way from Nikon and Canon

Things are really hotting up in the DSLR market with the impending release of the Nikon D90 and the rumoured replacement for the Canon 400D its going to be a great time to buy a new camera soon.

The D90 looks like a very strong offering, if the 10 stop VR and the built in iPod work as well as expected then I may soon switch to Nikon.

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Wednesday, 13 June 2007 

Wham bam thank you mam

Ok so there you are quietly photographing a solitary swallow when suddenly from nowhere another appears. I'll let the pictures tell their own story - but I thought he could have at least bought her a drink first.

Slipping the Eel

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Tuesday, 13 March 2007 

Museums, Dung and Photographs

Pete Myers has written a rather good article called The Museum (its a pdf).

Well worth a read.

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Wednesday, 7 February 2007 

"Jobsworths" and "not-so-jobsworths"

Hardly a week goes buy on the photography forums without someone telling the story of being prevented taking pictures by some security guard jobsworth type. It seems that you are usually OK if you use the camera hand held but set up your tripod and its like a red rag to a bull for the average security guard.

Prime spots in London to meet this sort of thing are Canary Wharf and the London Eye, the later I find particularly amusing as they did once run a London Eye photography competition, but to add that extra element of challenge they still had their security guards stopping you using a tripod.

I once experienced it myself at the Lloyds building, I was trying to take a picture of some feet walking down the steps similar to my Treads photograph. I was composing the shot, waiting for the right moment, when I was tapped on the shoulder by a security guard and the conversation went like this:

Guard: "Do you have permission to be doing that ?"
Me: "No, do I need it?"
Guard: "Well I would rather you stopped"
me: "Why?"
Guard: "Well its not very nice to take pictures of peoples feet without their permission"

At that point I decided to leave, heaven knows what nefarious activities he thought I would get up to with a load of telephoto feet shots!

At other times people can be so obliging it is hard to believe. on Friday I was down at Limehouse Basin and a chap who owned a boat in the middle of the dock wandered up and asked me if I wanted to get on to the jetty, as I could "get some good shots from there". He was happy to let me in through the security gates even though he had never met me before.

A few years back I was standing on a jetty at Coniston Sailing Club setting up to take this picture:

Looking North
(Click to view large)

Now I knew had walked through a gate marked private to take the shot, so I was a little bit nervous when one of the club members approached me. I shouldn't have worried though as it turns out he was an ex-professional photographer and we proceeded to chat for about an hour or so as the sun went down. At the end of the conversation his parting words were "by the way, I suppose you know your trespassing?". To which I could only reply "err yes", then he left with a smile and a wave.

The latest incident happened on Saturday evening as I was standing waiting for the light to be right on this shot:

Light after Death
(Click to view large)


I have been waiting for a while, when a bloke comes out of the house nearest the field and starts walking the 100 or so yards towards me. Figuring I'm about to chucked off what is private land, I fire off a few shots and then await the inevitable confrontation:

Him: "Do you have permission to be here?"
Me: "Err no, I didn't know who owned the field"
Him: "Well if anyone asks, I said it's OK"
Me: "Thanks"

With that he wanders back to his house....and in case you are wondering, no one asked!

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Monday, 22 January 2007 

Local.Live.com

I was just looking at my house on the Microsoft version of Google Earth: Local.live.com. When I noticed that the incredibly detailed aerial photos managed to capture a child's balloon floating in the sky above our street.

I just thought it was pretty cool:

The Balloon is at the top middle of the shot and my house is at the bottom.
(Click the image to enlarge)

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Tuesday, 9 January 2007 

Look Out

Yet again I find myself offering to host a file or a picture for a friend. Well this is supposed to be a blog about photography and I needed a shot for today, so here it is:


Look Out
By Kind Permission of: Robert Mitchell

This is the first ever shot Robert has posted on the web so he would appreciate any comments you have about it.

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Friday, 5 January 2007 

POLICE WARNING:

I came across this warning today and thought it best to pass it on to all dog owners:

Police have issued a warning to all dog owners: Watch your dog!
A sniper has been picking off dogs one at a time and almost a dozen have been killed or wounded so far. These horrible attacks have occurred predominantly in the Glasgow area. Police say they have a suspect and an arrest warrant has been issued, but so far, they haven't been able to nab him. Police have distributed a photo (attached) of the alleged suspect please keep your dogs safe and distribute this to anyone who has dogs in the area.


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